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Nice Guy Syndrome: Part 2

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Many nice guys imitate someone from their surroundings — either some idols, or an internalized image of the right guy. In their life they take a role of a good-hearted guy, pretty boy, idol, buddha, which is however built on the wishes of their surroundings and has nothing to do with their true selves, with who they really are. So a big gap opens up between the role they play, the life that unfolds around that role, and their true self hidden somewhere in a deep forest they have no access to, even if they sometimes hear its voices and sounds.

Roles belong to life, they have their power and wisdom, but, as probably all teachings of wisdom and psychological schools say, these roles need to be built on a firm, authentic inner structure of a true self which is however more than often collectively suppressed, ignored and shadowed by demand, masquerade, supermarket.

Social roles would have to be rather marginal in the ideal case, but for a nice guy they are dominant. His true self is buried somewhere, it isn’t present or is very limited. For a nice guy, these roles are strongly related to fulfilling the needs of others. The nice guy himself has the only need in performing these roles: to be seen, heard, and accepted as a good one, a right one.

The real fact is that in the end, a nice guy isn’t nice at all, because, while somewhere in the deep he wants to return back home to his true self, true feelings, emotions, thoughts, he doesn’t because it would mean that he would occasionally conflict with the wishes of the surroundings to make everyone adapt, everyone in agreement, everyone coexisting, and everyone safe.

On the other hand, I found out that if you tell this to a nice guy, he starts disagreeing, compulsively criticising, forcibly opposing authority for every price, swinging in doing so from the utter conformity to the utter unconformity. (Seeking the golden middle way requires everyday, every moment’s self-reflection instead of assuming another mask and role.)

So another nice guy’s strategy might be that he finds out right to be critical, violent, negative, bitter, defamatory, intriguing, manipulative (that’s always the case), and he doesn’t realize he’s again serving the demand of his subconscious authority and so he’s back in a role based on demand.

A nice guy naively fulfils whatever his surroundings want in order to please and make it happy, and this drive is completely unconscious. Finally, he ends up with burnout.

To be continued.

This is second part of my translation of a text about the nice guy syndrome written by Zdenek Weber, a Czech mentor, speaker, and entrepreneur.

Nice Guy Syndrome: Part 1

Prose Poem: Writing in Jardin du Luxembourg

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A feeling of incredible happiness, peace, joy, serenity, confidence. By the end of the evening the sun peeped out from behind the fog, illuminating by its dim, warm light the palace’s pale yellow limestone, colourful figures of people walking, white paths, pink, purple, yellow flowers bordering lush green lawns.

Something is subtly changing in me, it just happens without any effort. It’s amazing how could I not remember who I am all this time. The light grows brighter and brighter. A white dove lit by the evening sun paints a semicircle along the row of statues; the shadows of the trees, becoming longer, lie down on the green lawn; golden sunbeams are slowly creeping along the palace’s roofs and walls. A moment comes when it seems that the colors cannot become any brighter—crimson scarlet, fiery yellow, sparkling green … and at this very moment they fade out.

The coming evening breathes cool and brings magic. A stone bowl and marble statues nearby start glowing at dusk, as well as the very paper on which I am writing—I see a faint shadow from my pen’s tip on its pinkish-white surface. The light moves inside things, fading on the surface but flaring up in their depths.

Suddenly it flashes again with a bright bouquet of colors. The blackness of a crow’s wing, the pink of some petunias, the blue of a monastic habit, the pale green of a sunset sky that looks like antique glass, the thick blue of the clouds on the horizon…

The evening lasts, and the joy lasts, and the waiting for night is easy and pure like the waiting for a miracle. A miracle is being born from within, it’s just happening, like a forgotten language coming alive in memory. The light turns pink and fades out, my paper becomes brighter again. And when it seems that night is irreversible, the windows of the building opposite me suddenly flare up in the twilight with a dazzling, unbearable brilliance—the sun sends its rays into the garden for the last time, a promise of tomorrow.

Nice Guy Syndrome: Part 1

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The nice guy syndrome is a relatively new psychological condition many modern men struggle with. First described by Dr. Robert Glover, it has soon got a worldwide recognition as a very common phenomenon of men’s psychology. In this new series of posts, I will translate a very clear and concise text about the basics of the nice guy syndrome written by Zdenek Weber, a Czech mentor, speaker, and entrepreneur, the founder of Czech Men’s Circle movement. I believe that the ideas and insights contained in this text could be very helpful to many of my readers. As the text is quite long, I will break it down into a few chunks.

Part 1

Working with the nice guy syndrome is mainly about incorporating into your life self-reflection of being truthful about your needs and the needs of others. This skill requires a long-term practice.

Start with reflecting when you act on the basis of a subconsciously perceived social demand, out of a habit to be socially available, help and make others happy.

Making others happy and being at their disposal is a completely natural behavior, but if you are available at 99% and your needs are met only at 1%, then something is out of balance, and that’s a nice guy’s reality.

His task is to build up his own individuality, his own ways of life and self-realization, and if nobody ever helped him and he was instead motivated to fulfill the wishes and needs of others, then he starts from zero in 30 or 45 years, and it just takes time, because his whole life is riddled with all possible strategies of getting satisfaction through being liked and praised for that the others have enough and are happy, while he does not have anything.

Archetypally it sounds like a heroic act, a lot of nice guys are great heroes, but in the end they stay abandoned, robbed, disappointed. «I sacrificed all for others, why do they behave with me like that?»

A nice guy can have many faces and it’s a very individual role, but there are some similarities, or, say, an archetypal track. It’s all about suppressing your needs and individuality and putting in the first place the needs and wishes of others around you.

The healthy way is to adequately evaluate your own needs and the needs coming from your surroundings, to decide what is really necessary or fair to do in a prevailing harmony with yourself, and from this position of harmony with yourself to deal fairly with your surroundings.

But a nice guy needs to train this skill, because in interacting with the others he unconsciously shows them that he will meet their needs, will help them whenever and wherever possible, thereby completely killing his own self-realization, his sovereignty that is the DNA of masculine power, and thus losing the true respect of his partner, children, neighbors, workmates.

People see him as a good person, but in reality, in their depth, they don’t respect him and his needs, because he doesn’t respect his needs himself. He just wants people to love him, wants to be their favorite, and this is the source of his life paths, behavior, thinking, decision-making, priorities, relationships. A nice guy ignores his needs himself and doesn’t live in predominant harmony with his needs, because he has no natural contact with them.

To be continued.

Credits

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Free Verse Poem: Manliness

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When you search for manliness,
you search for force of a special kind.
As a water spring born deep in the earth
that calm force begins with peace within.

As calm as forests, teeming with life,
as silent as rocks, amplifying your voice,
as quiet as trees, whispering your name
with a gentle voice of Spirit, full of knowledge.

As still as age-old ponds
holding the heavenly abyss.
As silent as thunderclouds
eager to become light.

When you search for manliness,
you search for the truth, to stand for.
Be yourself and transcend yourself,
bowing before the sacred.

Sing, dance, laugh, cry, jump for joy, be savage.
Breathe the wind, hug trees, listen to roots grow, name stones.
Watch sunbeams dance when the wind shakes the forest.
Wander with the clouds, gazing in the sky lying under an oak tree.
Walk with the sun, stay awake with the moon.

Nurture and protect life.
Go for your dream further than anybody ever has…
and return home.

Dedicated to Czechia Men’s Circle

Malta Blockchain Summit: Get the Hottest Ticket in Town!

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Recently I’ve got increasingly interested in Malta Blockchain Summit. As both copywriter and developer, I stumbled upon this promising event many times during the recent weeks and finally decided it’s the best place to visit this November. Here’s why.

The Event

  • Date: 1—2 November 2018.
  • Venue: InterContinental, St George’s Bay, St Julians, Malta
  • Tickets: maltablockchainsummit.com

With over 5000 delegates, 100 speakers and 300 sponsors and exhibitors, the Malta Blockchain Summit promises to be a momentous opportunity for global influencers to network, forge new connections and debate the blockchain.

The summit is comprised of four conferences covering the field’s government and regulation, marketing and affiliation, fintech, tokenomics and cryptocurrencies, and, last but not least, blockchain for developers.

And now the best part of the news: blockchain developers and affiliates are invited to the Malta Blockchain Summit free of charge.

The summit also includes a two-day Hackathon, an ICO Pitch, a buzzing expo floor, a Blockchain Awards Ceremony, and ends with an unwinding Crypto Cruise.

The Prime Minister of Malta, Joseph Muscat, will inaugurate the regulatory conference.

Many prominent speakers has already been confirmed to take part, including blockchain co-inventor W. Scott Stornetta, Evercoin founder Miko Matsumura, Forbes 30 under 30 entrepreneur Christopher Obereder and many others.

Eman Pulis, Managing Director of the Malta Blockchain Summit, said:

I wish to welcome every blockchain enthusiast to the Malta Blockchain Summit, a melting pot for global influencers in technology, civil society, democracy promotion and innovation. Expect riveting discussion about the world-changing potential applications of blockchain across multiple verticals, including, but not limited to health, entertainment, government, banking, payments and fintech, and more.»

The summit is already sold out on all platinum and gold exhibition packages, and a fourth of all the tickets are already spoken for — six months ahead of the event. So don’t wait — head over to maltablockchainsummit.com to grab a ticket!

http://unsplash.com/photos/-Jd2XVXLQ0U

Background

The government of Malta is set to make the island an international center for blockchain-related business and technology.

Recently, the Maltese Parliament has passed three bills on the regulation of the crypto industry and thus became one of the first world jurisdictions with blockchain legislation.

Two of the largest crypto exchanges out there, Binance and OKEx, have already announced their relocation to Malta, giving credence to the Blockchain Island’s ambitions and making The Malta Blockchain Summit the hottest ticket in town.

Another interesting development is that Malta Stock Exchange launched a program of the development of startups in the field of financial and blockchain technologies supported by Binance exchange. Under this program, up to twelve startups will get the basic infrastructure ;ike accounting and communication services, offices, conference rooms, and a training center. One of the program’s mentors will be Thomson Reuters.

It is evident that the island is on the best track to become a centre of excellence for emerging blockchain and DLT confirming the name ‘Blockchain Island’ it has recently in social media.

A Few Facts about Malta

  • English is the official language in Malta (Alongside Maltese).
  • Malta is an EU state and Schengen member. Currency: euro.
  • Average day temperature in November: 21°C. There’s a 50% rain chance.
  • Sea temperature in early November: 22°C.
  • Surviving megalithic monuments on Malta are considered the oldest standing stone structures in the world.
  • Malta always was the crossroads of many civilizations and cultures: Greeks, Phoenicians, Carthaginians, Romans, Arabs, Normans, Italians, French, British…
  • Malta is a walkers paradise, with numerous tours to take visitors along the coastline.

Visit maltablockchainsummit.com to see the details and reserve your ticket!

First published on Steemit

Introducing DBREAD, a Token to Support Talented People

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DBREAD, or daily / digital bread, is my upcoming vote token intended to support talented people in the Age of Abundance. The dream behind this token is to help creatives, like writers for example, to focus on their work for longer times without having to worry too much about the income.

I am currently building a community where we will sample the best work via contests and manual curation and then give out these tokens letting the authors use whale votes on their other posts. It means, I’d like to give out tokens not on one-time basis but as a long-time support.

Recently I’ve run a contest for writers where participants applied with their best literary work documented on blockchain and the winner has got whale upvotes from the Whaleshares community for her next ten posts and also long-term upvotes from the Isle of Write community account and from myself. DBREAD tokens were also given out to the shortlist members.

Now I plan to run a similar contest for coders who are the authors of their own projects, too, as their work is in fact similar to writer’s: a coder needs long-time support to independently produce anything of value.

The tokens can also be rewarded for community service and later spent on education purposes on our upcoming selfdev portal where we will offer various blockchain-related learning programs.

DBREAD tokens are BitShares-based and will start having value after the Whaleshares mainnet launch. Follow this blog to learn about upcoming contests, airdrops and other events where you can get them.

First published on Steemit

Free Verse: The Art of Writing

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The word is born out of the silence,
so the beginning of writing is to master the pause.

I write, as if stretching my limbs,
numb after a long sleep.

The awakening of the word is like the action of light,
which effortlessly manifests the hidden.

I write, as if climbing a steep rock wall
where the foot of man has never dug in.

The land of the word is an anti-labyrinth: the paths are scattered,
yet each of them leads to the goal.

I write, as if speaking a forgotten language
that only the mouth remembers.

Controlling the word doesn’t bring the abundance
that comes from a miracle.

I write, as if recalling an old melody dissolved in the bustle,
remaining only as a longing for eternity.

First published on Steemit

Prose Poem: The New Beginning

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Thoughts sweep through my head, but I’m waiting, looking out of my train window. A spark is about to ignite, a miracle to happen, as the forest suddenly ends and a vastness opens up—plowed fields, the white circle of the sun above the mirror of the waters, a city in a milk haze and blue mountains on the horizon.

Find, inside yourself, in your darkness, the path, so obscured from the outside. Abandon the habitable to make room for the Spirit. Become the black of plowed land, the emptiness of a spring sky, the inconstancy of a mountain river, the quietude of the roots of age-old trees.

The new comes imperceptibly, quietly, as grass grows under the melting snow. The old is no more, and the sun continues to rise above you, the sunlit air is still fresh, and the winged shadows of the clouds, your castles in the air, still float along the land despite they were being blown into tatters on yesterday’s wind. The fields are wider, the mountains higher, and cleaner is your sight washed by the spring. What was genuine in the soul did not die, it was only waiting for its hour, like a grain buried in the dirt.

A child in an azure coat is clutching a lollipop in his chubby fingers; a herd of sheep is grazing on a hillock; an old man with a dog, motionless, looks at my train passing by.

Everything hidden, unspoken, unknown inside my soul settles into the images that the road offers so generously. They form the unbreakable alloy from which time casts the dream bell with its unique note. At some point, it seems that I’m about to catch it, but suddenly the space between us opens up, filling fast with endless fields, and only the spirit, soaring up like a bird high in the sky, is able to briefly see its horizons.

To rise above the world—and stay in it, in the very thick of things, in tightness and tension, struggling for every inch on the way to the goal, where sweat and blood, pain and thirst meet. It’s our body that proves the truth.

A vast space opens up before my eyes again, with plowed fields, a city on a hill, and blue mountains behind. The meaning of all things could fit in one spot now, like the white circle of the sun caught in a pond’s mirror.

The world acquires its true dimensions—those of my childhood when I didn’t try to master it.

The eternal child in an azure coat is still blissfully clutching a lollipop in his chubby fingers, and still rampant is the despair of the mortal man who has crossed the midlife threshold.

The moment lasts forever. Generations come and go before my astonished gaze, and the first people, laughing, still stand in the city gates, meeting the spring sun.

The exiled gods return to their homes.

First published on Steemit

When Dreams Come True

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Philosophers say our desires are always already fulfilled, so we better desire wisely, asking ourselves, what is most important. Our dreams always come true, but not always as quickly as we would like. It depends on the speed of the changes inside us, because if a dream becomes a reality, it means that we begin matching this dream. This process of alignment doesn’t happen quickly, and it is also absolutely organic—we cannot buy it, as well as we cannot impose it on ourselves.

In every moment, we are best fitted to the present reality—as within, so without. It means that everything is good the way it is… and everything is going for the better, because evolution continues.

In times of change, both in the soul and in the world, growth, however radical, occurs on the roots already present. Therefore, being yourself and knowing yourself is just as important as improving yourself and changing your life. Every person has a certain set of internal axioms that does not change throughout life, and that’s good, because it can serve as a support for us. After all, we can rely only on ourselves, drawing strength from our inner well that is directly connected to the ocean of evolution.

When dreams come true, a new age comes, both in the soul and in the world, an age when expansion is replaced by maturation, the outer by the inner, when the horizontal development is raising into the vertical of spirit that recognizes the mortality and limitations of the body, but retains faith in immortality … and the sense of humor.

First published on Steemit

The Age of Abundance: DAOs are Coming

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We are already living in a situation of abundance, or more precisely—at the point of transition from non-material to material abundance. Here’s how.

The first step towards the age of abundance was the era of the soul, or an abundance in humanity’s psychic life: the world of prehistoric people was densely inhabited by gods and spirits. Ancient myths, symbols, and archetypes formed the basis of religion and culture of the first civilizations.

This cultural foundation gave birth to philosophy which then became the mother of all sciences. So came the second step—the era of the mind, or abundance in the sphere of thinking and rational knowledge crowned with the emergence of modern science.

The rise of science made possible the advent of the third era—the era of machines. Science-based technology has in turn made the processing of matter cheap and affordable. And now we are on the threshold of the fourth era—the era of material abundance.

Many material problems today have already been solved for a large number of people and, perhaps, they would have been solved for everyone, if not for the still prevailing nineteenth-century-world mentality based on the outdated axiom of the scarcity of world resources, as well as greed, miserliness and the habit of the Powers that Be to solve all problems using violence.

Until almost two hundred countries are fighting fiercely for a place at the helm of the Spaceship Earth, world poverty won’t disappear, because the resources that could be directed at its elimination are spent on the struggle of governments against each other and the arms race.

Blockchain technology made possible for the first time in history the emergence of self-governing, self-funding, autonomous communities that can act globally without a central direction. It means that problems that can’t be solved at the level of centralised entities like states or multinational corporations, including the problem of poverty, can be solved by direct interaction of people organised in decentralised autonomous communities.

And while really big projects in this sphere are yet to emerge, the first experiments are already here, with Manna, Steem, Golos blockchains among them, plus some ambitious EOS-based projects like ONO coming in the second half of the year. A lot of niche community projects like for example Steem Basic Income or WhaleShares are well underway. My bet is that this year will show us an impressive growth with many opportunities coming. And this is only beginning.

First published on Steemit